tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post6945867919922093577..comments2024-03-18T08:24:22.061-07:00Comments on Ali Blah Blah: Three Is The New TwoAliBlahBlahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03335907266347761153noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-17015037206509869252009-10-02T21:27:03.674-07:002009-10-02T21:27:03.674-07:00I knew I was done with 2. I was so positive I was ...I knew I was done with 2. I was so positive I was done, that I had my tubes tied while they were in there extracting the last one. I knew after the first that our family wasn't complete. I knew after the 2nd that our family was COMPLETE. <br /><br />If you don't feel that yet, you just might feel complete with a third.<br /><br />I, personally, am not a good enough mother to have 3.Hyphen Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10129843526632243730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-85129789190635384912009-09-30T20:56:14.909-07:002009-09-30T20:56:14.909-07:00When my now middle child was 2 years old I had the...When my now middle child was 2 years old I had the urge to have another baby... a serious, heart aching urge. But no amount of "trying" was producing #3... <br /><br />Fast forward 2.5 years and we now have 3 ... a 6.5, 4.5, and 4 month old... and boy is it different! We had fertility issues and it took us 2+ years for #3 to come along... and once we finally did get prego my hubby and I continually asked ourselves what the heck we were doing. Did we really want to go back to diapers and night time feedings, helplessness, and dare I say, a stroller? Too late now sister!<br /><br />I got my tubes tied to ensure that no amount of wanting a baby would produce #4 ... however, the early morning feedings and poopy diapers are curbing that feeling anyway.Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16493268452074516009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-82211113790906875432009-09-30T19:24:11.698-07:002009-09-30T19:24:11.698-07:00I have no idea who you are and got to your blog f...I have no idea who you are and got to your blog from someone else's. This subject is a big one. My opinion is that you cannot think about money. People can never be equated to money, it is impossible. Pray about it, if you believe and pray, because I am a firm believer that if God gives you the desire HE will provide what you NEED. Set your mind on things up above not on material things that will rust away. That's my thoughts!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-85748353176058310612009-09-29T05:18:20.138-07:002009-09-29T05:18:20.138-07:00All these warnings not to allow too big a gap betw...All these warnings not to allow too big a gap between your children, and here I sit with four kids, 15, 13, 7 and 2. Yes, it's challenging sometimes (although the older kids can babysit for the younger two, which is a huge help), but in some ways I think it is easier than having four spaced 2-3 years apart. The older kids are very independent, and a big help around the house ... I can't help but think that having three to four kids in a six to eight year span means a lot of heavy lifting for mom and dad while the kids are elementary school aged.<br /><br />That said, we never set off to space our family like this. The best laid plans, and all that ... (or, in the case of my fourth child, no plans at all). I guess what I'm trying to say in my rambly way is that while spacing them closer together might be better in some ways -- mainly in that you can treat them more as a pack, as they'll be more likely to be interested in the same sorts of activities -- you can make anything work, if you're of a mind to do so. (Multiple kids playing multiple soccer games at multiple fields? That's why God created the car pool.)<br /><br />All that said, I haven't answered your original question, which was if I am happy with my family's size. The answer is yes. I can certainly see how life would be easier (and money less of an issue) with only two children, but have to say that in the long run I agree with LK: in the end, more children means more people to love.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13161498569856503977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-66051464757637489642009-09-29T05:16:22.872-07:002009-09-29T05:16:22.872-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13161498569856503977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-21311245950148555282009-09-28T12:29:38.012-07:002009-09-28T12:29:38.012-07:00I completely struggled with this when Olivia was a...I completely struggled with this when Olivia was about 1 year old. I would love to have another one IF...we had more money, a bigger house, more patience, a free babysitter, a bigger car (cuz ours isn't big enough), children that actually went to sleep at a decent time and more time in the day. As it is, at the end of the day i honestly feel like i am going to fall over and Coby and i end up saying about 2 words to each other the entire day. I decided that i owe it to my kids, myself and my relationship with my husband to just have the 2. <br /><br />That's how i feel. Now, i have a lot of friends who have 3 kids and seem to be completely fine with it, however, they do have a bigger house, more money, free babysitters (family that is actually overjoyed to spend time with their grandkids) and a bigger car.......oh and a lot more patience. :)<br /><br />It's a tough decision because it's so FINAL! Good luck!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-38294892609809236752009-09-28T08:02:52.767-07:002009-09-28T08:02:52.767-07:00All I would say (from experience) is not to leave ...All I would say (from experience) is not to leave too big a gap between number 2 and 3. I have two teenagers and a 6 year old (not planned but not regretted). It's hard having kids at completely different stages. They don't want to see the same movies, come in from school and have so much homework they barely have time to talk to him. He's like an only child in one respect.Expat mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-7670417437258187452009-09-28T07:59:47.243-07:002009-09-28T07:59:47.243-07:00I just gave birth to my second, 14 years after my ...I just gave birth to my second, 14 years after my first. I thought I only ever wanted one child. So much so I spent my entire second pregnancy unhappy and dreading a baby. Now that he's here, I adore him and realize I was a fool not to have more children. I know I'm only speaking for my own personal POV but if you have even the slightest desire you should have another. I'd have more if not for the fact I turn 40 in a couple months and annoyingly single!Tekinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-66494640980203661072009-09-28T06:22:07.212-07:002009-09-28T06:22:07.212-07:00I'm one of 3. 3 is great!I agree with the fact...I'm one of 3. 3 is great!I agree with the fact that so much of the world seems designed for families with 2 kids, but we always enjoyed the slight feeling of anarchy that having to ask for another chair in a restaurant brought with it! As someone who, at this rate, will be lucky to even have one, I am aware that my "broody" head is on, but the experience of having 2 siblings was a really joyful one. Of course, I'll never know any different, but it was still a lot of fun. You'd probably be better off asking my parents though!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-41981601787476581282009-09-27T15:00:18.975-07:002009-09-27T15:00:18.975-07:00I don't think we can ever truly regret the chi...I don't think we can ever truly regret the children we have, but that we have the potential to regret the children we thought of, but never had. <br /><br />And if you DO have that third child and DO regret having it, it's not the CHILD you'd be wishing you never had, it'd be the challenges that go along with having a newly minted family member, so that regret would be a TRANSIENT thing.<br /><br />In short, have more kids. YEAH.aibeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12387110145335841794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-16775086509867771302009-09-27T12:07:32.498-07:002009-09-27T12:07:32.498-07:00I have been lurking for a while, drawn by your wri...I have been lurking for a while, drawn by your writing and also the fact that we lived in Poppleton, outside York for a couple of years and I Miss.Yorkshire.So.Much. <br /><br />Anyway, where was I? I had four kids way back in the dark ages. Things were nuts when I had toddlers and teenagers, since there was a 9 year gap between two sets of two, which I do not recommend, BTW, but there was a divorce in there complicating things. There were days when I thought I had lost my mind to even have considered it, but two just didn't feel done somehow, and I am so, so glad we went for it.<br /><br />Yes, there was less money, and yes I was stretched....who gets time out and who gets the car keys taken away? The years fly by though and the baby stages are over so quickly that I can hardly believe it. <br /><br />The 'kids', now 43-29, all say they loved being part of a bigger family and it was all so worth it!<br /><br />I am now climbing down from my soapbox! My assvice is to follow your heart!<br /><br />MicheleMichele Bertramnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-77201913207765736622009-09-27T07:36:21.003-07:002009-09-27T07:36:21.003-07:00I have 3 and I have a 5yr gap between the middle a...I have 3 and I have a 5yr gap between the middle and youngest. I will NEVER regret having my son, but I will tell you that 2 parents plus two kids is managable. Three kids plus a spouse who travels is HARD work. My kids were also born in another culture, which makes a difference too in my opinion. American culture is designed for TWO child families. With the ages your girls are at, you've barely even started really: no school yet, no extra activities yet. Dealing with 3 lots of everything is no picnic.<br />Ultimately, it's down to you though. If the feelings you're having now don't change, then don't wait too long for no.3. Dealing with the kids as a unit is much easier when they're closer in age. With big gaps you get 3 different soccer games on the same day, 3 different school meetings to attend.....on the same night and 3 different bedtimes to deal with EVERY night!Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00085577423870971279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-67195560267123074072009-09-27T05:45:48.900-07:002009-09-27T05:45:48.900-07:00Ok, I'm similar to you. I don't have a &qu...Ok, I'm similar to you. I don't have a "done" switch. We have four children and I would still happily have more - we have pretty much decided that we won't but the urge is still there. I don't think it will ever go away. <br /><br />I love the factt hat we have four. Our family is fantastic. Two, and even three, felt incomplete somehow. Sure, there may be some sacrifices to make financially but a friend once said to me "a baby brings it's own bread" and it's true. Things just miraculously work. <br /><br />I say if you have the urge to go another baby then you should. I work on the philosophy that you are unlikely to regret having another baby but you might really regret not having one. It is just more love and more light in your life.Alihttp://callapippertree.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-57000115444639711692009-09-26T21:15:45.949-07:002009-09-26T21:15:45.949-07:00I too never saw myself as the dotting mother - lea...I too never saw myself as the dotting mother - least of all the dotting mother of THREE children! I too felt the same way after Maren was born . . . two was managable and I was happy, but I just wasn't SURE that two was enough. And then we got pregnant with Quinn - and I was OVER THE MOON. And then we lost Quinn - and I was beyond devestated - which made the decision to get pregnant again infinitely harder and yet easier at the same time . . . I had wanted a third child more than I had realized.<br /><br />I worry everyday about the financial ramifications of having three children, and I go to bed everyday praying to God that lots of love will be enough to bridge the gaps.<br /><br />Maybe throw caution to the wind and give yourself a deadline for getting pregnant? (The age gap between our kids was important to us . . . after we lost Quinn set a date on which we would stop trying so that a new baby wouldn't be too far behind Maren - we have done two in diapers, two in carseats, etc., and while it was hard, it was easier for me to have that than to have each kid doing their own thing . . . which is ultimately what I have gotten.)<br /><br />I am starting to ramble, so I will stop. In summary: you may ultimately regret having a 3rd child, but nearly as much as you will regret NOT having a 3rd child.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-50723880199194012612009-09-26T20:42:20.105-07:002009-09-26T20:42:20.105-07:00Skeletor has never looked back. Two is a nice amo...Skeletor has never looked back. Two is a nice amount to add to the world. If you hurry and do it the second baby never gets to feel like the young one, if you wait till she's older you extend your commitment, could be a lifetime. We don't know if our kids will ever move out, they might stay till they are thirty years old. And face it even if they don't live there they are right out front of your priorities. Then again you are already in for to two lifetime of service, what's a few more years?Money can be an issue, kids don't notice being poor too much but parents definitely can tell. Probably not much good advice here, I imagine you would like to see some more supportive messages here, sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32592788.post-77451909804606787382009-09-26T20:40:35.292-07:002009-09-26T20:40:35.292-07:00I have no advice for you from personal experience ...I have no advice for you from personal experience (we just have the one for now), but I will say that this sounds like something that really depends on your own feelings. And it really doesn't sound like you're hoping people will set you straight and tell you that having a third is a terrible idea. It sounds more like you're hoping for people to tell you it's a great idea and to go for it!<br /><br />Also, I can't believe you're even thinking of it with Lucy so small. That's a very good sign, I'd say! (I know we want more than one, but it took several months after my son was born to be able to imagine <i>wanting</i> to do the pregnancy / newborn thing again.seadragonhttp://seadragon.typepad.com/noreply@blogger.com