Saturday, March 22, 2008


LK knows a lot about tennis. When we first started going out he told me that he was 'All American', and I replied 'oh that's nice, I'm All British'.

I'm amazed we've made it thus far.

Anyway, one of the wonderful things he has introduced me to is a love of tennis. In 2005 B.C. (Before Child) I must have played about 4-5 times a week, rising to the rank of '#1 doubles team' at our local club.

It's an honour to know me isn't it?

Now, 2008 A.D. (Anna Dominates) going to Palm Springs to watch the Pacific Coast Open is about as close as I get to a tennis ball. I miss tennis, I really do, but not enough to pay someone $15/hr to watch the creature while I run around having fun. These are tough times people.

We bought grounds passes to get in to the tournament, which is such a brilliant deal because every single player you could wish to see is there warming up on the side courts and you can get much closer to them than if you were in the stadium watching them play.

Being that close brings out the star-fucker in everyone. Check out this ASS (actual star sighting):

Federer (looking rather dapper and far less caveman-ish than usual I thought).

Plus, the players are having fun, warming up, playing practice sets, and in the case of Djokovic taking his shirt off entirely and running around with a bunch of other Croats playing football leaving LK to comment 'he should really stick to tennis'.

Nadal, he seems like such a nice bloke but I can't get over the fact that he looks like a rodent.

My Mum saw these pictures LK took of Sherapova and said
'at first I thought it was you'.

Thanks Mum!!

3 months of doing 'group power' at the gym have not quite garnered me abs like that....but a girl can dream, and LK can hint. (As an aside, he once said to me 'I wouldn't mind if you got really buff you know').

Hmm, I'll get right on it.

Here's my personal favourite, Ivan Lubicic.


This completely throws LK who cannot understand why I fancy this balding bloke who looks more like a thug than a tennis player. To which I reply I'm not exactly a delicate flower myself and 'tall and powerfully built' has always made me look less of a she-man and for heavens sake stop questioning me and let me drool in peace.

So LK wandered off to take eleventy-billion photos of Anna Ivanovic, and the next time I saw him I hadn't moved a muscle and he busted me doing some more Lubicic-stalking:

See how I'm trying to pretend that the massive green stroller to my right does not belong to me?

I may look like a drowning fish, but that's me trying to look shocked and indignant that he thought I'd been watching Lubicic the entire time he was gone......

We went to this same tournament 2 years ago when Anna was knee-high to a grasshopper. LK had wandered off again, and I swear I just happened to be right by the gate when Lubicic walked off the court. I ditched the toddler and grabbed the first piece of paper I could find to get his autograph, and as if by magic LK appeared behind my left ear and said 'oh that's nice'.



mcCutcheon said...

I can't even begin express how much your interpretation of B.C. and A.D. cracked me up :D

Amy said...

I was just going to say the same thing as mccutcheon!!! Your acronymns are just so funny!

I have never even played tennis - crazy huh?

Mary said...

This post cracked me up! are one funny gal!
Glad you are having a fun time :)

I tried tennis once in high school. It didn't go so well. My hubby tried to get me back into it this past summer. I enjoyed it and will probably try it some more. I do enjoy watching it on TV though :)

ExpatKat said...

Looks like you had great fun! Love the BC AD definitions too.

Expatmum said...

OK, I have a post ready for tomorrow with the term BC in and I promise it wasn't copied from here. In fact my first child's name begins with C so it actually came from there. I love the "AD" though!
PS. I also don't see how you could fancy the tennis player, but each to her own eh?

Eden Kennedy Onassis said...

I thought Sharapova was you, too! SO THERE, MISSY.

Law Student Hot Mama said...

Umm . . . NOBODY would mistaken me (with my frighteningly large nursing boobs) as any professional athlete . . . except maybe a skanky mud wrestler. Kudos to you!

jenny said...

oh, i used to play tennis. wait, i used to just hit the ball back and forth with my friends and not keep score because we were clueless on how to score. this post totally cracked me up!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

tooo funny! But unfortunately you have ruined my evening by displaying the photos of Sharapova. But God love your mother for saying she thought it was you!
ps, what did you think of Goran ivanisevich (phonetic spelling) he bought the gawp out in me!

Yulee said...

Hi Ali. Why not have R give you tennis lessons while M plays with Anna? You can save the lesson and baby sitter fee. Are you freaked out? No, we've never met. We are friends of R&M in NY. I never posted comments before 'cause I couldn't come up with anything witty but when I found out last week that Anna is the one that fetched beer for R, I had to write. I think you are hilarious - you should write a book (your style is pretty similar to A.J. Jacobs who I think is pretty hilarious too). I have two girls (3 and 5) so I totally relate (and feel your pain). Sometimes I laugh out loud (I too shall never forget that song "wonder pets, wonder pets, we're on our way!"). By the way, so happy that Manchester United beat Arsenal today (2-1). Go Man U!

mmennen said...

Hi Yulee - so glad to see you posted a message instead of being a lurker! Ali - I loved this post too, finally catching up on your blog, but not feeling too guilty, since I see you have yet posted while in the UK. And rightfully so - enjoy every minute of it!

P.S. Still don't see what you see in Lubijic, so maybe you need to find a cuter picture to prove it to us. Unless you are just all about the tall, lean, muscular body he has, and not the face (!)

david mcmahon said...

I used to be a tennis writer. Wimbledon was my stomping ground.


Summerland girl said...

I could never play tennis with Jenny, it's all about the score : )