Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Results Are In...And..

OK, you were right, I wasn't really waiting to add up the 'go for it' messages vs the 'get your tubes tied' comments in order to make our decision. 4 replies say yes, two say no, so get your kit off LK, the internet has spoken.

I do want to say a huge thankyou to everyone for the wonderful and heartfelt input though. I loved everything you had to say. It all made complete sense. Yes, babies bring their own bread - I love that proverb too, but so far they do not appear to be bringing their own plane tickets, which is an issue for us!

I do think my hormones are playing a large part in this incessant broodiness. That coupled with the sadness with which I view Lucy desperate to leave her babyhood. Perhaps when she gets a little older, and stops being so stinking cute I will be able to wean myself from the idea.

Nothing is as effective as a whining toddler when it comes to contraception after all. Besides as LK pointed out, a tad sarcastically, in order to have a third child we would actually have to do the hibbity-dibbity, and had I really thought this through?

Every silver lining has a cloud....

There is also a mad scientist part of me that just wants to see what my future kids would be like. Anna has my wariness, my bookishness and Lance's, well, hair, whereas Lucy has Lance's athleticism, his daredevil nature, and well, my lady parts. That's it. When you look at the Duggars you see every combination of the two parents, every personality trait, every physiological nuance. Plus I was thinking last night, as you do, that with 18 kids, statistically shouldn't at least one of them be gay, and how on earth's that going to work? I think rather than having 19 kids, it would be easier to just use this website.

I've told myself that we'll leave it for a year to mull over. No rash moves here! I think we both realize that adding a third would likely mean moving away from SB, which would likely mean a change in countries, which would require an economic miracle for us to be able to get out of our money pit. Nothing makes this debate seem minor compared to the discussion of whether to continue living in Santa Barbara or move back to the UK.

In the meantime I'm buying lottery tickets.


Colleen said...

I didn't see the last post in time to comment. We have two children (age 5 and 13 months). We struggled with infertility and felt incredibly blessed to have had any children at all. At the same time, I am absolutely in the "I would NEVER have a third child" camp. Right now, I'm seriously questioning the wisdom of having decided to have a second (we didn't really know how good we had it w/ just one). But, that's me. You've got to go with what you are feeling. If you feel some lingering desire for a third child, then take some time to consider it seriously.

Life As I Know It said...

I just went back and read all the wonderful comments from your previous post. Here's my story - we have two kids, 7 and 4. We want(ed) a third, but I've had several miscarriages. At this point, I'm 38 and the gap between our youngest and a new baby seems so big to me. I don't think it's in our cards to have a 3rd, but I still have that slightly aching feeling that someone is missing.
There's no right or wrong answer, and when in doubt, go with your gut feelings. The rest will work out. Good luck!

Lucia's Mom said...

I have two (plus one in heaven), and would LOVE to have more (and I don't think just one more). My two closest friends have two and are talking about a third. My neighbors have 4. Maybe cuz we live outside California?

GO FOR IT! I've never heard a single person say they regret having that last kid. Your friends are wacked. My husband is one of 12 and the last 3 are by far the cutest and nicest (I am SO just joking when I say that - although it's true he is one of 12!!!)

for me it's not an ache, it's screaming in my ear, the baby fever

Rebecca said...

I just found your blog - also living in SB, beyond our means with an almost 4-year-old daughter, raised in the UK, grandparents inN. Yorkshire, balancing theeconomic pit of stay or leave. We need to meet!

Daffodilly said...

I stopped after two then 5 years later I was desperate for another. Good idea to sell the baby clutter as if you change your mind you will know so many mothers who will want rid of their baby stuff anyway. Having 3 is no differant than having 2 as your life is run by the kids anyway. You are still young.....no-one eve regrets having a later baby anyway.

AliBlahBlah said...

I have to say I'm really enjoying all these comments. Thankyou all.

and Rebecca - yes we need to meet. Email me!

Hyphen Mama said...

Ah! There you are all level headed, giving it time. Time is good.

WHY would you have to move back to the UK? Or maybe it would be your turn to be with YOUR family to help you with the kids?

rebbikins said...

i would if i could work out how to email you!