I shudder to think what this title is going to do to my Google ads, but I will plough on regardless.
One of the only downsides to getting your body back to normal after having a baby, is getting back to flying the red flag once a month. Now you know you have married the right man when he calls you from Costco and you can ask him to buy you a jumbo pack of tampons and he doesn't run screaming with embarrassment - although I do have to call them 'corks' so's not to injure his man-ears.
For some reason in the States it is almost impossible to buy a tampon without an applicator. I'm sure some of you readers are falling off your chairs in shock at the thought of how else do I get it up there, *shudder*? Even in these eco-friendly times it is harder to find an applicator-free tampon than it is to find a Californian without a flip-flop tan. Carrying around an arsenal of torpedoes instead of a tiny and discreet Lilette is something I have learned to live with. What I was not prepared for was LK coming back with 96 scented tampons.
Turning a blind eye to the fact that he might have been trying to tell me something, I ask you, scented tampons - really? Are people that squeamish about periods that they think they have to deodorize themselves? The idea of putting chemical anything up there is abhorrent. Are people really so repelled? I wonder if it's an American thing - hairlessness, multiple showers, body deodorant, feminine wipes, I think they've reached the zenith of sanitization over here.
In LK's defence, I'm sure he was just grabbing the first appropriately titled product in the entire embarrassing aisle - but I've never seen these before. Are they new? Are they in the UK? Are they going to be returned to Costco? Oh yes.