Hello! Happy New Year!
Let's pretend it's not been an entire month since my last post, and I'll try and create a bit of momentum here.
Christmas was a blur. My parents were in town and were endlessly entertained (and vice versa) by Anna and Lucy, leaving LK and I with some rare time on our hands to unwind, and actually leave the house by ourselves...
Sadly not all of our Christmas plans came to fruition. I had been planning for weeks to have the girls' big 'Santa present' be a trampoline in the garden. I couldn't wait for the big reveal on Christmas morning, have them look out the window - *wow* Santa left us a chuffing trampoline!!!
For the last four years we've had a plastic Craigslist play structure in our yard. It provided hours of entertainment, the perfect sized slide for small girls, and the perfect wash-clean surface for many coats of poster paint and glitter. LK had done a great job at wood chipping the base for a soft landing - and we learned the hard way that all wood chips are not created equal and 'redwood' chips, are lethally splintery - leaving tiny hands and feet bristling with tiny wooden hairs as fine as fiber glass. So we told them to wear shoes and quit moaning, because that's how we roll. We said, it would get less ouchy after it rained. Which it didn't, (rain or get less ouchy).
In order to secret Santa a trampoline in to our yard though, I needed to make the play structure disappear. How was I going to make that happen a couple of weeks before Christmas without the girls getting suspicious? In the end I decided on quasi honesty. I told Anna that I'd spoken to a woman who'd asked if she could buy our play structure for her little baby who was turning one.
Anna didn't bat an eyelid.
"Sure" she said "do I get a quarter of the money."
That child has lived in Santa Barbara too long.
So we sold the play structure for $75 to a very sweet Grandma who'd driven an astonishing number of miles to get it. Pretty sweet considering we'd bought it for $75 four years prior.
The scene was set - we had the location, we just needed the trampoline. Sadly though, picking a trampoline is no easy task. LK took it pretty seriously and did not get the cheapest one to pop up on Amazon. What a good Dad. We even had some pretty long discussions about whether a trampoline was a smart present. The words 'spiral fracture', 'large medical deductible' and 'who the fuck do you think is going to put it together in the dark on Christmas Eve - elves????' came up several times in conversation.
Christmas morning was a little thin - even Anna remarked 'Santa's been, but he's brought a lot less than last year' but that was soon forgotten when she unwrapped the Wii that LK had given them, and soon she was bopping away to Let's Dance, her recession Christmas turning in to a merry one.
We eventually did decide that the pros of a trampoline outweighed the cons. And LK agreed to put it together if plied with sufficient beer and some fucking elves (see below)
In the meantime we had Lucy's 3rd birthday party (more on that later, perhaps......) and sadly her best friend wasn't able to make the party due to a recent trampoline accident. Thanks fate!!! All parents weighed in on trampoline pros and cons "I know a pediatrician who has one!", "I know this kid who jumped off the roof on to his and broke his......" etc. By far the most constructive comment, and the one I'm hoping is accurate is the person who said "kids always hurt themselves on trampolines - but it's always the kids who don't have a trampoline who hurt themselves when bouncing on a friends'. And you know what, that seems to be true.
Except that won't stop their parents suing us - but then, go ahead. 25% of 0 is still 0 after all.
One week later and no injuries so far to report. Anna said "trampolines are so much fun, but they are exhausting...." and Lucy said "I want to marry it".
All I can add is that it's been a long time since I've bounced on a trampoline and my remembered 8 year old moves on the Rossett Sports Centre trampoline are not appropriate on the knees 30 years later. Oi vey.
.......This post is dedictated to my good friend Sophie who found out the Easter Bunny wasn't real after reading my blog, and thus found out her parents were Santa and the tooth fairy too. *Whoops*