I like my name I really do. It's versatile, recognizable, yet not ridiculously common. Alison, Ali, Al, Als - I have friends and relations who use every variation. Butt - I am also the recipient of every person's inadvertant butt-dial, because I'm usually at the top of the alphabetized contacts list.
I get messages from LK's butt all the time.
I listen to him driving home from work. I never listen for long, because I don't like Led Zeppelin as much as he does, and I'm also worried I'm going to overhear something incriminating.
It must be hell to be called Abigail or Aaron - you'd be the go-to for everyone's accidental arse-dialing.
Usually it's just people going quietly about their business, having accidentally sat on their phones, nothing exciting to eavesdrop on. There is one number though - one unidentified number - who accidentally calls me every 2 weeks or so and spews abuse. Not to me, he never seems to realize he's called me. He's always pissed off at everything. His arse must get twitchy when he's cross, because that's when he seems to call. "You're f&*Ckin disrespecting me" is a common refrain. Vitriol pours, his respect is paramount. In a pseudo Agatha Christie way I wonder if you can report spousal abuse through a mis-dial. I'm not entirely sure why he has my number. I don't have him as a contact. I think he may be a *thankfully* ex-tenant we inherited when we got the property. I thought about sending him a text telling his arse to stop f&$%in disrespecting me but I don't want the fight. I'm just hoping he loses his phone.
On a lighter note, texting is much more civilized. How nice not to have to engage or make small-talk when you don't want to. Lucy has sent a couple of accidental texts to my friends when she's been playing with my phone, but they usually realize that it's not a cryptic cry for help when I message 'fzzvnynghhhh////'. Unless Apple predictive text gets a hold of it, and then you're really in trouble. If you have five minutes, check out this website: www.damnyouautocorrect.com for what happens when good text goes bad. Here's a little taster:
Thanks to Caroline for the heads up about this site. Who couldn't welcome a little blowgun humour to lighten a day?
6 comments:
Thanks for sharing that! I almost had an asthma attack I laughed so hard!!
aahhh, you have no idea how much I needed that. Thank you so much! I can't remember that last time I laughed so hard I cried....
Katherine - that's exactly what I did, I laughed so hard I was crying. LK thought I was nuts because I was doubled over giggling about 'potatoes of the Caribbean'.
I had to change my contacts so that my husband is AandOdaddy so that he's the only one who gets butt-calls and even random messages/calls from our four year old.
Can't you put the abusive guy on a do not accept list on yopur phone?
Fantastic work, thank you so much for shedding a light on the topic.
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