If nothing else ever marks me as a failure (form an orderly queue) it's that just as I was starting my blog, this blog post was written. If I'd have known, I'd have stopped right there. I bow to the blog queen.
Have you ever seen the film Twin Town? If not - rent it NOW, it's chuffing hilarious. They do a brilliant mockery of the song 'Downtown' by Petula Clark, showing downtown Swansea on a Friday night - but Whoopee, I think she takes the crown. Long live Crapham.