I swear if I get another one of those e-mails about hypodermic needles found in a Macdonalds ball-pit, or a child dying from licking lead-based paint off the nursery walls I think I'll go chuffing mental.
You read them first thing in the morning, when the only thing you have in your stomach is coffee and a fervent desire to go back to bed, and they're always signed 'concerned' or 'just a heads up'. Aaarrggh. Leave me alone!!! It's hard enough to keep kids alive without worrying about all this other ridiculous crap. I know she could poke something metal in to that outlet and nuke herself, I know she shouldn't be running with that machete, or playing with that bottle of Anti-Freeze. It's hard enough just trying to keep them away from the genuinely lethal stuff. Lets just try and keep it within the realm of sanity alright? If she gets a brain parasite from playing in a sand-box that a raccoon has pooped in I will be beyond devastated, but I will not stop her playing in a sand-pit 'just-in-case'. I will not stop licking ATM envelopes because someone in Michigan allegedly died from a laced envelope. People in Michigan are looking for ways to die I tell you, I used to work with them!
So, how are you? Had your coffee yet? Had your dose of hate/fear e-mail? I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but as I've said before, I'm not exactly good at letting things go, and I'm a tad vulnerable first thing in the morning, and not a little insecure about my parenting skills in the first place.
Of course, if you've sent me anything recently regarding the risks of cosmic radiation in the under-5s or how your pre-schooler may already have lethal levels of mercury due to substandard play-dough, thankyou, I know it's out of genuine concern for her well-being. I'm working on it. Now get lost.
In other news, LK deserves husband of the year (or at least the week) for cycling fifteen miles to and from work sometimes multiple times a day because our car, the Stealth Creampuff, has conked out again. Head gasket, whatever. Sayonara Ford we're buying Japanese.
You have no idea how long it took me to look up how to spell sayonara. Sion? Cyon?