Resolutely Written

I'm starting this early because it's going to require some forethought.

What I'm not going to do is give up booze, or limit myself to one drink, or two or three. That would just start rumours of pregnancy, and besides these days I'm only ever relaxed and not talking about the @*&!ing mortgage when I'm drunk.

I am going to:

1- Drink more water. Okay, a safe one to start with here. It's boring, but it bloody well works. I always feel loads better when I drink lots of water. I hate drinking lots of water (why is it I can down glass after glass of gin but have to force down a mouthful of water?).

2- Write at least 100 pages of my book. Hopefully this won't be too hard. I'm already at 75 pages, which is just staggering to me, and I still have two, maybe three ideas left for the characters. OK, it's going to be bloody hard work, but if I'm not going to do it now I'm certainly not going to do it if we have even more sprogs.

3- Go running more. I finally splurged and bought the jogger of my dreams. Now I can't find a link to it, which makes me think hmmm, recall. It's bloody brilliant. I am absolutely in love with it, not least because it actually fits in my car so I can go jogging down at the beach without having to jog down there through the barrio first. Or as much of a barrio as SB allows. I used to love running, and my friend Chilly runs all the time and weighs less than a chia pet.

4- Stop being such an uptight bitch. 2006 has been the year of terror and worry for us in many many ways. Mostly financial, but whatever happens, even if we have to leave this country under cover of darkness and flee to the UK using assumed names, we will be OK. I have to remember this. We have our health (resolution number 6 - stop sounding like an old fart) and everything else can be dealt with. I am a chronic worrier and like to be in control. Don't I sound fun? If LK is reading this, he is already rolling his eyes. We've had a stressful, worrying, crappy year and we've dealt with this stress in different ways - me by bitching and moaning and nagging and nagging and nagging and nagging, and LK by running for the hills whenever he sees me so much as draw breath. This coupled with Anna sleeping in our bed has meant we've reached a bit of an all-time low. I love LK. Yes still, and he's being actively pursued by a gorgeous wealthy ex-supermodel who fortunately happens to be gay. If he wasn't I think LK would have trotted off to Montecito months ago, but if I carry on being such a harpy he might just change teams for an easier life, and I bet this bloke gives a better blow job too. I need to stop being such a wife/mother and start being more of a wife/girlfriend.

5- Don't try and achieve resolution number 4 through use of gin.

6- Keep up with this blog. My goal will be to actually have someone read this blog that hasn't first googled 'army circumcision'. True.

7- Eat more fruit and vegetables. I buy more fresh fruit and veg for Louis our guinea pig than I do for us. I make Anna eat all the good stuff before she even has a sniff at a cookie, maybe I should set a better example.

8- Actually put my face in the water when ocean swimming. I have done four sprint triathlons doing the breaststroke and one doing the crawl. Only once did I get the top of my head wet and that was when heavy surf knocked me repeatedly on my arse in 2002. I've progressed to doing the crawl, but I still only partially submerge my face. I need to get over my fear of seeing something swimming underneath me and swim like a swimmer not like an old lady who's afraid to get her perm wet. This is never going to happen.