Friday, February 02, 2007

Twenty Things You May Not Know About Me And Probably Couldn't Care Less Anyway:

It's Competition Time!! Is anyone else stuck for 'busy work' to while away their time on a work-day afternoon? Does anyone else need to look like they're typing furiously? Well, I am and I do, so here's a little quiz, with an honest to goodness prize for the winner, something like a Borders gift certificate of unspecified worth (*wow*), whatever my cunning mind thinks is appropriate in about a month's time. If and only if you are the first to correctly guess which five statements are in fact a load of bollocks, only one guess per person, form an orderly queue. Competition not open to LK, but it would be interesting to see if he knew.

1. I have had poetry published.
2. I am a natural blonde, no highlights nothing.
3. I break out in a rash drinking tequila.
4. I briefly had a pet lamb, Willie.
5. I hold grudges for years.
6. I have never shoplifted.
7. I have never had a filling.
8. I got married at 23.
9. I have loudly farted on a first date.
10. I can knit but I can't crochet.
11. I have a green thumb.
12. I have never broken a bone.
13. I have testified in court.
14. I was too scared to pump my own gas for years.
15. I lost my virginity at 15.
16. I graduated from Cambridge.
17. I have an assistant who is terrified of me.
18. I have been proposed to on a first date.
19. I have over 10lbs of candy in my office
20. I inhale but I don't swallow.

Apparently yes I am that bored and boring.


Anonymous said...

1. No green thumb
2. No one is terrified of you, including your assistant
3. You don't hold grudges
4. You've shoplifted
5. You lost your virginity at 15!?
...and I'm not gonna touch the inhale/swallow thing.
Chilly Chia Pet (obviously just as bored this Friday afternoon)

AliBlahBlah said...

Wow, I'm surprised Chilly only 2 right? I thought you knew me better than that :) - maybe you're just trying to let everyone else have a decent chance. Let the floodgates open. Ha ha.

Anonymous said...

I think these are NOT true:
6. I have never shoplifted.
10. I can knit but I can't crochet.
11. I have a green thumb.
12. I have never broken a bone.
15. I lost my virginity at 15.


AliBlahBlah said...

Nice try Mooks but still a long way to go. This is cracking me up what you think of me.

Anonymous said...

oh come on guys! I've got this one:
1. no green thumb
2. you don't hold grudges
3. you have broke a bone (ouch)I can't believe chilly missed that one!
4. you didn't fart on a first date - but I've heard of people doing such a thing while practicing yoga....
5. 10lbs of candy in office - how could you with that fat monitoring scale!!!
over and out - Redfox

Anonymous said...

OK, I'm trying again because I fucked up on the broken bone thing.

1) You broke your collarbone (I KNEW that)
2) You don't have a green thumb
3) You've shoplifted (I'm picking this over holding grudges and I don't want to find out if you do)
4) Don't have 10 lbs of candy or you've had eaten it by now.
5) I'm starting to think you were older than 23 when you married LK
Did I win?

Anonymous said...

Redfox, 2/5 - did you just do that to make Chilly feel better?!

& Chilly - 2/5 on your second attempt - too funny.


It'sgrimupnorth said...

OK I think it may be time to clear a few things up.

Anyone who thinks that Ali doesn't hold grudges has never held her head under water in a swimming pool!

On one side of Ali's family are some ladies that you wouldn't mess with, therefore she is genetically programmed to be scary! Lance could tell you that but Ali won't let him!

At the age of 15 she thought that boys were just those people at the back of the class who messed around in very important Geography lessons.

When Lance proposed, he had a full dose of proper english flu and was so doped up with Lemsip that he didn't know his own name, the chance of ali getting anybody drunk enough to propose on a first date is very very slim!

My guesses however are:-

1. Al is scared of farmyard creatures therefore the pet lamb is wrong.

2. Shoplifting. Everybody thinks that butter wouldn't melt (just an english phrase?) but I reckon she's a tea leaf.

3. I knew from a young age that she should never take the stabilisers off her bike! How is the collar bone al?

4. lost her virginity at 15 my arse!

5. I got the good teeth of the family, there's more metal in that mouth than jaws off James Bond!

What is Borders anyway?

AliBlahBlah said...

Nice try itsgrimupnorth, but even though you profess to know me, you won't be finding out what Borders is any time soon because you did not get them all correct. Ha bloody ha.

Anonymous said...

Okay different approach - Ali, confirm, are these all true?
2 - natural blonde
3 - get rash from Tequila
8 - married at 23
10 - knit not crochet (spelling?)
16 - graduated Cambridge
17 - assistant is terrified
18 - proposed to on first date
redfox is right on - right?

AliBlahBlah said...

Well done redfox, but that's as much of a hint as I'm giving people. The net is closing!

Anonymous said...

OKay - so I truly DO NOT have a life.....AND I got help from Turtle Rocket...these are Bollocks
6. you have shoplifted - who hasn't?
11.You do not have a green thumb..
12. You have broken a bone..
15. You didn't lose it at 15
20. just a good guess??? :)
Redfox/Turtle Rocket

Chilly said...

So much for one guess per person, some of us are just too competitive. I still think you've shoplifted, but it didn't fit in to my very careful statistical analysis, so here we go (and this is my FINAL attempt):
These are NOT true:
(7) Never had a filling
(11) Have a green thumb (I KNOW this from the tree in your previous apartment)
(12) You've never broken a bone
(15) Lost your virginity at 15 (my son is 13, I can't go there right now)
(18) You were proposed to on a first date (I actually believe this is true, but I also think you had a pet Willie and couldn't decide)
On my way to Borders...

Anonymous said...

eat your heart out and get ready to pay up big time! The girls are together.......Chilly and redfox signing in...
we are ready to collect.
Bollocks is:
6 you have shoplifted
7 you do have fillings
11 you don't have green thumb
12 you have broken a bone
15 you didn't lose it at 15
we are now your BFF's
XO - Chilly and Redfox