What New Year is complete without the purchase of one of these lovely items? Reasoned my thoughtful husband.
First of all, what the chuff? Why on earth do I need a body fat monitor and scale when I have the zipability of my trousers to measure these things by? And also - I just had a chuffing baby! OK, so that last excuse is wearing a little thin (unlike most things) but honestly, who would buy such a thing and also buy his wife this....
It hardly seems fair. So apparently my body fat ratio is this:-
And I was feeling a little disappointed, and not a little ambushed as I was made to try this torture-scale out after eating Beth's fabulous chicken casserole for dinner. I tried to take a wonderful photo of this casserole for your delight and delectation, but it just turned out looking like a big pile of lumpy lard. Hmmm. Funny that. Besides, why should I trust the recipe of a woman who is capable of flushing her cell phone down the toilet? I mean, does anyone honestly not look before they flush?! And what did she think when she heard that ca-thunk-thunk-thunk as it flushed? 'Crikey - I need to start eating some bran in the mornings?'. I bet she checks now, that's all I have to say.
Anyway, I was feeling a tad sorry for myself, so I did what any self-respecting woeful person does, and I had a bit of wee, and lo and behold I gained 0.8% of my body fat. What the chuff? I was getting fatter by the second.
Honestly though, 33% lard? That can't be right. I'm going to try it again first thing tomorrow morning and let you know.