To think I was actually a bit worried whether I'd find enough to write about for NaBloPoMo. I was a bit concerned that after the first flurry of posts I'd be down to 'God I'm tired today, no really, I'm so bloody tired'. All of which is still true, but life is happily throwing material my way - as if it's goal is to try and get me to pop this sprog early.
Last night I was heading to a jewelry party with my friend Mooks. Riveting so far, huh? One minute we're happily driving down the street, the next minute a complete muppet of a driver has pulled out of a driveway, crossed traffic and is feet from my 30mph car. There is no way he could have been looking in my direction because at the point he bolted from his driveway I was already close enough to tell you how recently he'd washed his car. I slammed on the brakes and for what seemed like minutes, but was probably only a matter of 10 seconds my car screamed and juddered to a halt (who knew brakes made a grinding sound - and does anybody know, if you've reduced your brakes to a shuddering grind do you need to get them checked out afterwards?).
It wasn't pretty. I have to seriously thank some high quality Honda engineering and anti-lock brakes because in the space it took me to try and stop we went from certain catastrophic collision, to likely nasty crash, to we'll be lucky to get away with just a fender-bender, to, well, nothing. We must have stopped within an inch of his car. Even Mooks turned to me and said 'did we hit him or not?'. Unbelievably there was no impact, and yet again a near-death experience failed to induce labour. I'm beginning to wonder if bungee-jumping would get this kid to descend the birth canal.
He drove off, I honked and that's the end of the tale really. I suppose you had to be there. Not just in the car, but in my head. Because while I'm sure I was screaming for my life Mooks assures me I just said 'Fuck'. Like a friend of ours who on re-watching her birth video was surprised to find that in the final 'ring of fire' moment when she was convinced she was screaming expletives for the world to hear, she actually just said 'this is really uncomfortable'.